29 Reasons You’re Not Ready To Be An Adult In The Real World

Everything I Learned About Drunk People

  1. You think you’re being nutritious because you balance out five fast food meals in a row with gummy vitamins.
  2. You shudder at the thought of your peers getting engaged and married.
  3. Or worse, getting pregnant.
  4. Your definition of a home-cooked meal is heating up a Lean Cuisine for five minutes.
  5. Sometimes five minutes is too long of a wait.
  6. You sometimes forget that you shouldn’t curse in public places.
  7. You go weeks without reading your email.
  8. You still find bodily functions humorous, like farts. Especially farts.
  9. You really have no idea what taxes are, or how they work.
  10. You let out an audible “ew” when couples get too mushy-gushy.
  11. You probably can’t be trusted with the responsibility of a credit card.
  12. You day drink more often than not.
  13. Wake up before noon? Pass.
  14. You can barely take care of a plant, so motherhood is out of the question.
  15. You haven’t read a book in a good while.
  16. You have a costume box.
  17. Your skincare routine is to wake up and add new makeup to whatever is left from the day before.
  18. “On time” usually means 10 minutes late. At least.
  19. You can recall all of last season’s “Keeping Up With The Karshashians,” but you don’t really have a clue what’s going on in the political world.
  20. What exactly is a mortgage?
  21. You still think you have a shot at marrying your celebrity crush.
  22. Selfies. You take selfies.
  23. You consider Tinder to be a credible way to meet guys.
  24. You have more pushup bras than sensible ones.
  25. Your liver is made of steel.
  26. Health insurance is really just one big mysterious process.
  27. So is car insurance.
  28. How many different insurances are there?
  29. You have to call your parents to ask them for your information whenever you fill out important paperwork.

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Rachel Page

Rachel enjoys spending her time thinking about Britney Spears, whining about being single, and thinking about Britney Spears. She doesn't take to criticism well, so be nice or so she will cry herself to sleep! Email:

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