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27 Ways Sorority Girls Are Basically Children

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1. We get abnormally excited about any and all crafting opportunities. This is mostly because we know homemade gifts are way better than anything money could buy.

2. We love costume parties, and we are pretty damn good at them. Halloween? That’s our shit.

3. We have sacred handshakes and secret passwords. And we use them all the time.

4. You’ll find that our weekend calendars are often full of fun group activities.

5. We have big sisters, and are completely obsessed with them. They’re pretty much the coolest thing to ever walk the planet. We want to be them.

6. We don’t often do what we’re told by authority figures.

7. Which is why we get sent to standards, which is basically the principals office.

8. We will dance around like morons if our jam comes on.

9. We love to nap. Anywhere and everywhere. We’ll snuggle with each other, too.

10. We have play clothes. I.E. Nike shorts and frat tanks.

11. We require a house mother to ensure we don’t get into any major shenanigans.

12. And let me tell you, our house mother runs the show. What she says goes.

13. We’ll probably throw a fit if we don’t get what we want (shack shirts).

14. We spend a lot of time learning the alphabet. The Greek alphabet, that is.

15. We have our own secret language so those around can’t understand what we’re saying. Especially during recruitment.

16. We will always go out of our way to find an excuse to wear a tutu.

17. We rock t-shirts that are way too big for us. Don’t deny it.

18. Sometimes we play dress up and put on plays. And they totally kick ass.

19. We have secret club meetings. Although they often times take place in an auditorium.

20. Bows on bows on bows. Not everyone will understand our obsession with bows. But why should we care when we look so friggin’ cute in them?

21. We’re drawn to basic colors, animals, and symbols. How can we not buy a planner that has our chapter’s mascot plastered on the front?

22. We LOVE baked goods.

23. Actually, we love any food for that matter. If there is free food, sorority girls will be there.

24. We often sing songs in large groups. Though we’re definitely less happy about contributing to sorority chants than children are about singing “Ring Around the Rosie.”

25. Exec = babysitters.

26. But the cool kind of babysitter, that lets you stay up late and doesn’t tell your mother about the five cookies you ate before bed.

27. We often play sports, though intramural games are ten times more competitive than little league. It’s basically a fight to the death.

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Lucky Jo

Lucky Jo is a former and current TSM writer who likes her men how she likes her coffee: way too hot and unforgivably bitter. She graduated from the University of Missouri in 2016, proving that C's do in fact get degrees. She now spends her days working for a social media marketing agency, hiking with her dachshund, and trying to bring back the scrunchie. Hate mail and goat memes can be sent to lucyjmulvihill@gmail.com.

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