27 Things Guys Really Wish Girls Would Relax About

relax girlfriend boyfriend

What’s worse than a guy telling you to “relax” when you’re literally shaking with fury? Trick question. Nothing. Nothing is worse than that fucking moment when some asshole guy throws up his hands and says “calm down” when (in your eyes) he majorly effed up. And sure, he’s probably being a dick. But, BUT, in his defense, there might be a few times when you really should, you know. Relax. I hate to say it, but it’s true. Every now and again there might be some times when we really are in the wrong. Or take things to far. Or just don’t realize that we’re being fucking psycho.

In a recent Reddit post, guys said all of the times they wished girls would relax — and to be honest, they might have some points. Annoying, right?

  1. If we say something that has two meanings we always mean the good one. Stop searching for an insult that isn’t there.
  2. Even guys turn down sex sometimes. If we’re really tired or really stressed out it happens. You don’t need to have a full neurotic episode over it thinking we don’t find you attractive anymore.
  3. Guessing games. You look good. Don’t make me play “spot the difference.”
  4. Maybe this is a “me” problem but sometimes I like to just chill out and do nothing in particular. Every girl I’ve known seems to always want to be doing something or going somewhere. Like can we just chill?
  5. Just because I want a night to hang out with the guys doesn’t mean we’re going to bang hookers and snort cocaine. Sometimes it’s cool to just go grab some food and drinks and hang out.
  6. Scheduling things. Our calendar is literally full from now until October. Every weekend has the activities planned. Every day has errands to run scheduled in. On one level, yes, it makes some sense especially since we have 2 little kids. But for Christ’s sake, can we just NOT have a plan for every fucking day for the next 4 months!?! If I want to go out for beers with my buddies, I certainly can’t do it without at least 3 weeks notice. Then add in all the discussions we have to have about the schedule and what is happening when and with whom. It’s exhausting and drives me crazy.
  7. I just want her to stop apologizing to me for things that aren’t her fault. I kind of pisses me off sometimes, but I still love her with all my heart.
  8. Girls, if you’re dating someone, and they’re having sex with you, stop asking if they think you’re attractive. Personality goes a long way, sure, but that’s not the only reason they’re dating you. Your looks have a hand in it too.
  9. When men say they’re thinking of nothing, we’re often thinking of nothing. Don’t stress about it.
  10. Sometimes I literally want to be alone and play video games and be a hermit. I’m not fucking other girls or think you’re gross, I just don’t like socializing all the time even if it’s just us “hanging out” cause I don’t want the pressure of you being in the room with me.
  11. Bodily functions…you farted, it’s not the end of the world. We really don’t care.
  12. Similarly, escaping air during sex. My girl always looks horrified. I don’t care I’m getting sex.
  13. How you look without makeup. I’m not gonna lie, obviously hiding various minor imperfections makes you look nicer and if you’re going out somewhere nice or something then cool, but I think every girl I’ve ever known thinks they are literally HIDEOUS without it. You’re not.
  14. A shower thought awhile ago: When girls say “sorry, I’m not wearing makeup,” they are literally apologizing for looking like a human.
  15. Please don’t compare us to the best quality of every single guy you know. That guy doesn’t exist and everyone has their good and bad qualities.
  16. Y’all need to chill with your shitty self-images, y’all are beautiful and we love you.
  17. When my wife asks me something, and I reply “yes, because of this reason.” She literally thinks there is hidden meanings being what I’m saying, and there must be much more to it.
  18. When I say hello and hold a conversation with you, I’m not hitting on you. I’m just being friendly, please don’t tell me you have a boyfriend.
  19. That everyone thinks they are attractive. Girl, I love you and think you are gorgeous. I have demonstrated this many times over. Why do you care what that one girl who you work with thinks? You don’t even like her! Shouldn’t you trust the opinion of the person with whom you chose to be in a relationship more than the opinion of a random person? I can’t understand why their opinion carries more weight than mine does.
  20. Cellulites and stretch marks.
  21. “I’m fat” -105 Pound 18 year old.
  22. When I decide to spend a Friday night with the guys instead of you. Just like when you need a girls night out, we like to have bro time with the guys, go to a pub and watch a match on the TV, etc.
  23. You don’t have to do everything. Relax and let me take the reins.
  24. I forget things. A lot. I understand her frustration with the bigger things but don’t get mad if I can’t remember what episode of Frasier Niles gets a divorce.
  25. If you aren’t the one doing the work, I really don’t want your opinion on how I do it. Nothing drives me crazier than “Well, why are you doing it this way, wouldn’t it be better if you did it that way?” Look, don’t nag a guy when he has a hammer in his hand. If you want it done a certain way, you do it, otherwise trust that I am going to try my best, and leave me alone.
  26. It’s funny when you fart. Deal with it. Plus, fart jokes can be the glue that holds a relationship together.
  27. When I tell her that her body and figure is fine. I’m not saying that to humor you. I’m being serious. Be comfortable with your body because in my eyes it’s beautiful.

Maybe they’re not so bad after all.

[via Reddit]

Image via Shutterstock

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Rachel Varina

(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable.

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