- You can miraculously survive a night of drinking that would have destroyed a lesser being.
- You can navigate home, blackout, in heels.
- You can literally sense when your ex has entered the same room.
- You can accurately judge how difficult a class will be based on the first day and one conversation with the professor.
- You‘re pretty sure you can telepathically communicate with your best friend.
- You’ve found the perfect sidekick, and you call her “Little.”
- You can bullshit an incredibly believable excuse as to why you didn’t complete an assignment faster than The Flash.
- Your regular unannounced disappearances from parties put Batman’s stealth and air of mystery to shame.
- You can piece together a term paper that was supposed to take weeks in a single evening, and still pull and A-.
- You have an uncanny knack for waking up in time for class time even though you forgot to set an alarm.
- You can throw together a perfect going out outfit in under ten minutes.
- Your powers of persuasion render any liquor store cashier or bouncer helpless.
- Your butt is like kryptonite for the male species.
- You can sense when a chapter meeting is about to be atrociously long and know exactly when to cash in your freebie absence.
- You can tell when your roommate spent the night with a guy before she even says a word.
- You can put together a full meal with whatever hodgepodge of mismatched groceries is left in your sparsely stocked refrigerator.
- You can live for weeks on a single grocery store run.
- You can cook the perfect eggs and toast, hammered.
- You can tell when you have a text (or a Tinder match) even when your phone is on silent in the other room.
- You can make the eighteen dollars left in your bank account last an entire weekend.
- You can stay up for seventy-two hours and still function.
- You can sleep for eighteen hours at a time.
- You can avoid getting arrested, even though you definitely should have been a few times.
- You can slow down time just by entering a classroom.
- You can get free drinks for an entire evening with just a few well-timed words.
- You know what to wear when it’s time to kick ass..
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