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26 Super Powers Everyone Develops In College

26 Super Powers All College Kids Have

  1. You can miraculously survive a night of drinking that would have destroyed a lesser being.
  2. You can navigate home, blackout, in heels.
  3. You can literally sense when your ex has entered the same room.
  4. You can accurately judge how difficult a class will be based on the first day and one conversation with the professor.
  5. You‘re pretty sure you can telepathically communicate with your best friend.
  6. You’ve found the perfect sidekick, and you call her “Little.”
  7. You can bullshit an incredibly believable excuse as to why you didn’t complete an assignment faster than The Flash.
  8. Your regular unannounced disappearances from parties put Batman’s stealth and air of mystery to shame.
  9. You can piece together a term paper that was supposed to take weeks in a single evening, and still pull and A-.
  10. You have an uncanny knack for waking up in time for class time even though you forgot to set an alarm.
  11. You can throw together a perfect going out outfit in under ten minutes.
  12. Your powers of persuasion render any liquor store cashier or bouncer helpless.
  13. Your butt is like kryptonite for the male species.
  14. You can sense when a chapter meeting is about to be atrociously long and know exactly when to cash in your freebie absence.
  15. You can tell when your roommate spent the night with a guy before she even says a word.
  16. You can put together a full meal with whatever hodgepodge of mismatched groceries is left in your sparsely stocked refrigerator.
  17. You can live for weeks on a single grocery store run.
  18. You can cook the perfect eggs and toast, hammered.
  19. You can tell when you have a text (or a Tinder match) even when your phone is on silent in the other room.
  20. You can make the eighteen dollars left in your bank account last an entire weekend.
  21. You can stay up for seventy-two hours and still function.
  22. You can sleep for eighteen hours at a time.
  23. You can avoid getting arrested, even though you definitely should have been a few times.
  24. You can slow down time just by entering a classroom.
  25. You can get free drinks for an entire evening with just a few well-timed words.
  26. You know what to wear when it’s time to kick ass.

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