1. I forgot to use my anti-aging cream twice this week.
2. I invest more time in planning my wedding on Pinterest than I do in my actual relationship.
3. The BJs stopped as soon as I got the “girlfriend” title, officially.
4. I refuse to watch any type of sporting event, but you better believe his DVR is full of Real Housewives marathons.
5. I may or may not fake it so he’ll leave me alone…often.
6. On occasion, I’ll get drunk and call him 31 times in a row.
7. Unless he’s telling me how pretty I am, I can’t care about what he’s saying.
8. I send the police to his house if he ignores my phone calls for longer than an hour.
9. I forgot to ask for “no croutons” on my salad the other day at lunch, and I ate them.
10. I threaten to Facebook message his mom every time he pisses me off.
11. I have an emotional breakdown at least twice a week and make him deal with it.
12. If he gets me a gift I don’t like, I have no problem telling him “this isn’t the one I wanted.”
13. I’ve said, “is it in yet?” Out loud. It was.
14. I ask if I look skinny, then get mad when he says “yes,” because he’s only saying it because I made him.
15. I campaigned to make it “Facebook official” only to deny his request and remain “in an open relationship” with my best friend. Joke’s on him, he’s still “in a relationship.”
16. I’m the exact opposite of a cheap date.
17. Since dating me, he’s had to completely eradicate the word “no” from his vocabulary.
18. I made him turn off the big game so I could watch a Lifetime movie.
19. I created a dream board full of pictures of Jodi Arias, “as a warning.”
20. I’ve stolen every fraternity shirt he owns without asking, and refuse to give them back. What’s mine is mine and what’s his is ours.
21. I complain if I have to do anything involving his friends or family, but he has no choice when I need him to attend a gathering with me.
22. I “accidentally” send him pictures of engagement rings on the reg.
23. Once we’d been dating for two weeks, I told him I wanted to marry him and have his babies.
24. I throw a massive bitch fit if there’s the slightest chance I won’t get my way.
25. I actually think I’m clinically insane, which means he’s probably an idiot for sticking around.