1. There will always be some bitchy ex-girlfriend looking to judge you. Look amazing, and you’ll give her nothing to talk about.
2. You must go through recruitment.
3.You must pledge my sorority.
4. You must do your best to get involved.
5. Just say “no” to getting naked in public. When there are no naked pictures of you the next day, you’ll thank me.
6. Approach fraternity hunch punch with caution. ALWAYS. It’s way stronger than it tastes.
7. Crafting is the best stress relief.
8. Wine with friends is the other best stress relief.
9. Drunk crying over wine with besties while crafting actually tops the other two.
10. You can have friends outside your sorority…
11. …but your sorority sisters will probably be your best friends anyway.
12. College will be the most fun and exciting experience in your life thus far, so enjoy every second of it. Don’t let anything stand in the way of your adventure for too long.
13. At the same time, don’t let the fun distract you from keeping your grades up. The real world is right around the corner.
14. Most boys will come and go. Don’t worry about them.
15. A lot of friends will come and go, too. When you see them in passing, remember to say hi, and aggressively judge them behind a smile.
16. Never turn down an invitation for a date. If it goes well, you never know where it might lead, and if it doesn’t, you still got free food.
17. Baked goods are always the way to a person’s heart. This includes the housing director, which will come in handy when you are trying to change rooms because that random roommate thing you did wasn’t working out.
18. Find a friend who is 21 as soon as possible, or you’ll find yourself very thirsty during pregames.
19. Get a fake ID today. Seriously.
20. If something bad happens, do not call your mom until you have to. She WILL freak out. Ignore her, she’s old.
21. The freshman 15 is real. Don’t let it happen to you.
22. Learn the art of passive aggression, because you will often find yourself in a situation where you can’t openly be a bitch.
23. Go to all of the football games. There’s nothing like cheering on your team in the Greek section, even if they’re terrible.
24. You’re allowed to take a girlfriend to your date parties.
25. Don’t get too caught up in trying to be something you’re not. Have fun being you.