23 Things That Need To Happen In The Live-Action Remake Of “Aladdin”


It’s been (basically) confirmed, the hottest Disney couple is finally getting a live-action makeover. After remaking basically every classic movie (and “Cinderella” more times than should be allowed) a real people version of “Aladdin” is actually going to be a thing. So long fantasizing about the cartoon version of the street rat, he’s about to become a real man. In a recent report, it was announced that the classic tale is not only going to be reworked, it’s going to be expanded.

Before we get the remake of the classic, a new story is going to be released. It’s called “Genies,” and it will be a live-action comedy all about the Genie’s life and why he got stuck in the lamp. The plan is to have that movie lead up to the live-action remake of the most hilarious Disney movie of all time. And since very few details are conformed yet, I figured I would give the directors a few ideas to key them in on what we really want. Because honestly, no one loves Disney quite like we do. Here’s what needs to happen to ensure a perfect remake in our eyes.

  1. Zac Efron is Aladdin.
  2. Mainly just so we can see him in those little pants and basically nothing else.
  3. Jasmine is played by me (or you, whatever).
  4. So, you know, you get paid to hook up with Zac Efron, because #goals.
  5. Jafar is played by someone dirty and dangerous, yet still oh-so-screwable.
  6. Like Johnny Depp.
  7. And sure, in this version Jasmine and Jafar have a little thing, but honestly, Aladdin deserves it.
  8. It’s rated “R.”
  9. Because everyone is super pro-male nudity in the remake.
  10. Instead of a magic carpet, it’s a magic Ferrari.
  11. And yes, the deed gets put in Jasmine’s name.
  12. A hologram of Robin Williams acts as the genie (because he’ll always be the man for the part).
  13. And he says some super enlightening and sob-inducing things, as only Robin Willams could do.
  14. Jasmine calls Aladdin out on his shit after a few too many glasses of wine.
  15. She might post a selfie on Instagram of her and Jafar making out too, but whatever.
  16. Despite her dad thinking that Jafar will keep her in line, he realizes what a boner he was in the end.
  17. And really, he only has himself to blame. I mean, it’s not Jasmine’s fault she has daddy issues.
  18. When Aladdin decides to win her back, he pulls out a four karat ring instead of just saving her life.
  19. Because honestly, charm isn’t going to do it this time, buddy.
  20. They have the perfect, Pinterest-inspired wedding of her/our dreams.
  21. And pop out three-four babies (named after compass directions, obviously).
  22. But only after they have traveled the world and Instagrammed all of their #Wanderlust GoPro pics.
  23. Obviously.

You’re welcome, Hollywood.

[via The Hollywood Reporter]

Image via Youtube

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Rachel Varina

(yeahokaywhat) Aspiring to be the next Tina Fey, Rachel spends her free time doing nothing to reach that goal. While judging people based on how they use "they're" vs. "there" on social media, she likes eating buffalo chicken dip, watching other people's Netflix, and wearing sweatpants way more than is socially acceptable.

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