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22 Life Lessons From Mindy Lahiri

22 Life Lessons From Mindy Lahiri

Finally, starting tonight, January 6, Tuesdays have meaning again. Our favorite funny girl, Mindy Kaling, is back with new episodes of “The Mindy Project.” Every time she speaks, I can’t help but die, because she actually says exactly what I’m thinking, or she’s teaching me the lessons I actually need to learn. Mindy learns lessons for us the hard way: by being absolutely batshit crazy. Even though we’re all at least a little bit crazy, Mindy always bites the bullet for us and teaches us that sometimes, life honestly is easy if you’re under a seven on the crazy scale. In honor of this girl’s return to TV tonight, I present to you the 22 best life lessons you’ve ever received from Mindy Lahiri.

  1. A best friend isn’t a person. It’s a tier.
  2. You have the right to life, liberty, and chicken wings.
  3. Your body can be very attracted to someone else’s body, even though when he speaks, your brain gets angry.
  4. If you’re going to be a mess, you might as well be a hot mess.
  5. It’s totally possible to be your own role model.
  6. Talking to your date about facts you only know from googling him should never happen. Okay, maybe just sometimes.
  7. You can do anything, as long as it’s just paying for something.
  8. Sometimes you just need a friend to help you fill up your bra with wine.
  9. If you’re going to pick a warrior name for yourself, Beyoncé Pad Thai is as good as any.
  10. You are NOT overweight. You just fluctuate between chubby and curvy.
  11. If a guy really cares about you, he’ll kiss you even when you taste like puke.
  12. Health is taking the escalator instead of the elevator.
  13. If you put down your sangria for any conversation, it’s a really fucking important one.
  14. Sometimes you just need to lie on the floor while your best friend feeds you sour straws.
  15. There are some things in life that are worse than dying alone. Wait, no. No, there aren’t.
  16. Eating cereal out of a wine glass just happens sometimes. Accept it.
  17. It’s only tattling when a little girl does it. When a hot woman does it, it’s called whistle-blowing.
  18. After four vodka sodas, sometimes you realize that you really do have something to say.
  19. Don’t say you have a “girl crush.” No one’s going to think you’re a lesbian if you just say “crush.”
  20. If you’re still single in five years, make a pact with your closest male friend…that you will kill each other.
  21. Chocolate fountains are acceptable in a professional environment. Everyone loves them.
  22. You are a hot, smart woman with an ass that doesn’t quit.

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RecruitmentChairTSM

RecruitmentChairTSM (@TheRecruitChair) is a contributing writer for Total Sorority Move. This current grad student and ex-sorority girl survives solely on Diet Coke and the tears of the pledges she personally victimized. She's a Monica, a Marnie, a Miranda, and a Regina. Her favorite hobbies include drinking $14 bottles of wine and binge-watching season 2 of Grey's Anatomy until she cries. You can send her annoying e-mails at RecruitChairTSM@gmail.com

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