21 Things Only High Maintenance Girls Understand

High Maintenance

When people say you’re high maintenance, they usually mean it as an insult. Those words are too closely associated with “bitchy” or “spoiled,” and the connotation has an all-around negative rep. I think this is absolute bullshit. Why should we be punished for having a high set of standards and wanting to present ourselves in the best way possible, all day, every day? I have opened my eyes. I like being called “high maintenance.” I take it as a compliment, because it means I know what I want and how to get it, and you should, too. Not sure if you’re one of these lucky, rare gems in this world? See if you relate:

  1. Manicures make your world go round and you never have an unpolished nail. Taking notes is completely unbearable when your fingernails are ugly.
  2. You don’t think there is anything more disgusting than someone farting or talking about going number two, especially if they are girls and there are males around. You have gone to extreme lengths to convince your boyfriend you don’t poop. You also refuse to go in a public place. Ever.
  3. Whenever you wear heels, at least 10 people ask you, “How do you walk in those?” When did wearing six-inch heels become such a phenomenon? The taller the heels, the better your bottom half looks.
  4. You have rhinestones on everything from your phone case to your makeup compacts to even your tape dispenser.
  5. Since you were a little girl, you have been called “Princess,” and the nickname stuck. Sometimes you forget you aren’t a real princess–but Prince Harry is still single so you are hopeful.
  6. You have a little dog and it is probably named after a designer or a dessert. Your dog is your greatest accessory, and you are not above telling people that it is a therapeutic dog so you are allowed to bring it everywhere.
  7. Your hair always looks flawless and has an enviable shine. When you leave the house, you look like you just left the salon, every time. There is a good chance you wear hair extensions, even if it’s only to add a little volume. Putting them in is so natural feeling that you could do it in your sleep. You have the perfect touch to make them look natural–people are always shocked when they find out that mane is not all yours.
  8. You don’t consider André real Champagne. How can California sparking wine even be considered Champagne? Last time I checked, the grapes had to be from Champagne, France, to be legit.
  9. You take your arm candy extremely seriously, and by “arm candy” I mean purses and jewelry. You have a different purse for every outfit, and your collection is a point of pride for you. Ditto for bracelets and watches. You have mastered the golden ratio of bracelet to watch to complete every look.
  10. You would never repeat an outfit. The thought of wearing the same thing twice gives you the chills.
  11. You are mostly attracted to athletic body types. You work hard for the way you look, so you think he should, too.
  12. Packing light is not in your vocabulary. You are pretty shocked when you are the only one on spring break with a full suitcase, an extra large duffle, and two tote bags.
  13. Camping date parties are you biggest nightmare. The thought of having to spend a weekend in the woods and be one with nature–all while you’re expected to look super hot–is your personal hell.
  14. Your beauty regime is extremely extensive, and most people are baffled by the amount of beauty products you have. If only everyone knew the power of a good facial and bikini wax.
  15. Leaving the house not looking polished from head to toe is an absolute sin. Life is unpredictable and you never know who you are going to run into.
  16. You have never gone to class wearing sweatpants. You value how your fellow peers and professors view you, and no one is going to take you seriously if you look like you just rolled out of bed.
  17. The outfit you wear to the gym is as put together and coordinated as an outfit you would wear out. You spend as much on looking good at the gym as you would any other outfit. Sometimes more.
  18. You are extremely picky about everything. You only drink bottled water and you get grossed out by tap. You exclusively get your coffee from Starbucks. Other people might roll their eyes at your order, but you understand the importance of a perfect latte.
  19. The only thing that can criticize your spending habits is your emotionally abusive bank app.
  20. You are considered needy with your high expectations for attention and communication from your friends…and especially your boys. It’s not your fault you’ve gotten accustomed to being the center of attention.
  21. You are always late and unapologetic. Sorry I’m not sorry.

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Just a smart blonde keeping her standards as high as her red bottomed heels. Go big or go home.

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