19 Things That Every Girl With A Flat Butt Understands


How come no one ever sings about flat bottomed girls?

  1. You may never get to be in a rap video, but hey, that nursing degree is going to go to good use.
  2. You don’t even consider taking a photo without a little arch of the back.
  3. You try twerking, but it just ends up being a weird thigh-jiggle type movement.
  4. Yoga pants, although somewhat helpful, just seem to taunt you.
  5. Raise your hand if you have ever been personally victimized by Kim Kardashian.
  6. You pray he doesn’t “watch you while you walk away”.
  8. Your lack of “derriere” sometimes allows you to buy a size smaller. Who needs the gym?
  9. You’re not prime subject for “butt stuff,” which is a personal victory.
  10. You tend to lay on your back when laying out.
  11. Ass grabs are a complete and utter joke.
  12. “Flat Stanley” may or may not be a distant relative.
  13. You rejoiced when “Rack City” came out because it was a great distraction.
  14. You don’t seem to understand the struggle that is stretched out leggings.
  15. Your gym routine consists of squats in hopes it cures poor genetics. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t.
  16. “Don’t eat that, it’ll go straight to your ass”, is not a warning, but a personal challenge.
  17. No donk, no stretch marks. Winning, am I right?
  18. Sir Mix-a-Lot is enemy #1.
  19. Riding bikes is a unique form of torture and must be avoided at all costs.

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Rachel Page

Rachel enjoys spending her time thinking about Britney Spears, whining about being single, and thinking about Britney Spears. She doesn't take to criticism well, so be nice or so she will cry herself to sleep! Email:

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