At the beginning of the year, up-and-coming philosopher, Kylie Jenner enlightened us all with her resolutions for the year. While us scum have resolutions like “lose weight,” Kylie’s was more eye opening, revealing that she feels like “this year is really about, like, the year of just realizing stuff. And everyone around me, we’re all just, like, realizing things.” Woah. Soak that all in. Makes you think, huh?
Now we find ourselves eight months into the year on August 10, otherwise known as the day that marks the nineteenth year since the birth of inventor of lips, Kylie Kristen Jenner. And for these nineteen years, let us realize all of things Kylie has realized so far in this year of realizing stuff and things.
- She realized if you make it, they’ll buy it. Like not one, but two different shades of blue lipstick.
- She realized it’s important to have hobbies. Like knitting, or collecting luxury cars.
- She realized with great lips, come great responsibility, like keeping them shut when your boyfriend’s baby mamma is trying to start drama.
- She realized how to make smart financial decisions. And any financial advisor will tell you it is vital to film a short movie to release a lip gloss line.
- She realized she should try new things. Like make a rap song where you may or may not say the “N” word.
- She realized you have to fake it ’til you make it.
- She realized it’s not about the grades you make, it’s all about the
hands you shakethe money your fame brings in.
- She realized where there’s a will, there’s a way. And yes, there is a way to contour your ear.
- She realized it’s important to utilize your talents. Even if those talents are lip-syncing on Snapchat.
- She realized if you break up with your broke boyfriend, a new hotter man is always right around the corner, like PartyNextDoor.
- She also realized that your broke boyfriend will also come crawling back every single time you “break up for good.”
- She realized haters be her motivators.
- She realized what a wig is.
- She also realized she started them.
- She realized you have to give the people what they want. And apparently what they want is just a lot of makeup.
- She realized she needs to help the less fortunate. Like her quickly accumulating collection of dogs.
- She realized that family has to stick together even
when you’re conniving older brother impregnates the devilduring the hard times.
- She realized it’s her world and we’ll all just living in it.
- She realized she could sell garbage cans lit on fire, and we’d probably all buy it.
Queen of realizing..
Image via YouTube