You’ve had your time. You went through the stages of grief. At this point, we’ve all (grudgingly) accepted that Rob Kardashian and Blac Chyna are getting their own series. I’m not excited for the television plague that is about to happen, but I pretty much already know how it will go down. With a heavy heart, I admit I will still watch it, with tears streaming down my face of course, but I will watch it nonetheless because of the drama that is bound to ensue.
- Chyna will get furious that no one calls her by her Kardashian name.
Because she’s basically a Dan Humphrey and doesn’t deserve that title.
- Robert will call his sisters “whores” then go back to his stripper bride-to-be.
The irony will be missed by him completely.
- Chyna and Kylie will have a heart to heart that goes wrong.
For some reason the reunion with “stepmom of the first child who is also auntie of the second child” didn’t go so smoothly.
- Kim will be naked at least a few times.
Let your freak flag fly.
- Mama Kris will try to patch up the broken family.
Literally everyone will tell her to shut the fuck up.
- Kanye will call out Rob for all of his bullshit.
There’s only room enough for two douchebags in that family, and it rests with Yeezy and Scott.
- Cameras will catch Rob binge eating candy in a closet.
This will be the highlight of the entire series.
- Scott will crack a joke at an extremely inappropriate time.
This will happen throughout the show.
- Khloe will punch Rob in the face.
Embrace your inner Rhonda, girl.
- Kendall will not be present, like, at all, because she’s too good for Rob.
Sorry, she couldn’t hear your bitching over her angel wings.
- Kim will ugly cry about how this isn’t how family treats each other.
Kourtney will make fun of her ugly cry face.
- Someone will call Rob fat.
He might cry.
- Kourtney will claim she doesn’t want her children to mingle with Rob’s child because they have “bad energy.”
She will say this while eating kale.
- Rob will scream about how he doesn’t need this family.
Oh yeah, because your sock company did so well on its own, Robert.
- Everyone will get too drunk at the wedding.
- Khloe will shut Rob down, suggest he go back into hiding.
The world signs a petition to second the motion.
I hate to admit it, but it’s bound to be a fire series..
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