15 Hilarious Attempts At Justifying The Freshman 15

Freshman 15

  1. If I did cardio I would also have to wash my hair, and that just wasn’t an option. Because of the environment. And global warming. Or whatever.
  2. I was making a financially smart decision to utilize every opportunity I had to eat free food on campus. It’s called economics.
  3. My friend passed out before we finished all of the pizza, and what type of “friend” would I be had I let that go to waste? A bad one.
  4. I was too broke to afford a nicer winter coat but more body fat gave me extra insulation.
  5. There’s no “Frat Free Zone” at the campus gym.
  6. It wouldn’t have felt right to have anyone else eat all the candy that my big gave me.
  7. The lulu leggings that I wore everyday provided a surprisingly generous amount of stretch.
  8. When a cute boy offers you drunchies, you take them both and never let go.
  9. I didn’t want to set my alarm early in the morning to go workout because it would’ve been really inconsiderate to wakeup my roommate. #Respect
  10. I’m positive that if I didn’t stress eat that whole bag of pizza rolls I wouldn’t have been mentally stable enough to take my math exam. Hello? Brain food!
  11. The dining hall had both chocolate and vanilla ice cream and I don’t think that fitting it into all three of my meals was excessive at all.
  12. Dancing at the bar was kinda the same thing as going to Zumba class or whatever, right?
  13. I really wanted to bond with my sisters, and nothing says “life long friendship” quite like daily froyo.
  14. I assumed that most of the weight I gained just went to my boobs, because my bras don’t fit anymore. So like, it’s fine.
  15. I would gain it all over again if it meant I got to relive my freshman year.

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