Big news, people: Kim Kardashian has a giant tuchus. As you’re all well aware by now, she posted a picture of it, all greased up, to her Instagram account Tuesday night, and it is the biggest (no pun intended) thing in the news today. Literally, a person’s butt is the most important thing happening in this country right now. In the most Kardashian-West move of all time, she used the hashtag #BreakTheInternet to accompany the photo of her rear, as if a singular photo could actually tear down the thing that pretty much keeps society running. Or, maybe it could. We’re not that bright.
Many people mused that if she wanted to break the internet, she should have sat on it. (Idiots, you can’t sit on the internet.) Others judged the socialite turned reality TV star for putting her bum on display because she’s a mother. Kim, herself, joked about the ridiculousness of it all.
— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) November 12, 2014
Oh, Kimmy. Having a giant booty is not a talent. It might be a blessing–or it might be silicone–but it’s certainly not a talent. Regardless, to Kim’s dismay, the internet was working just fine this morning. And thankfully, it brought us all these wonderful things.
1. These doughnuts.
— Dayana Salinas (@DailySalinas4u) November 12, 2014
2. This potato.
— Anisha (@AnishaDattani) November 12, 2014
3. This romantic photo of Kim and Kanye.
— AngryBritain.com (@AngryBritain) November 12, 2014
4. This centaur.
— Elodie Crauwels (@ElodieCrauwels) November 12, 2014
5. This candy.
— This Is It Stores (@famousvalue) November 12, 2014
6. This unique bike rack.
— General Boles (@GeneralBoles) November 12, 2014
7. This incredible reimagination of Homer Simpson.
— wynona (@nonskins) November 12, 2014
8. These really creepy hot dog buns.
9. This perfect replica.
10. This really weird face swap that leaves me speechless.
11. This waterslide.
12. And this insanely bitchy, beautifully passive aggressive post by Chelsea Handler.