Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are calling it quits after over ten years of being together and the world isn’t sure how to feel about it. On one hand, people are sad to see this decade long relationship between two beautiful people who have six kids together end, and on the other hand, they got together while Brad was still married to Jennifer Aniston, so maybe it wasn’t built to last in the first place. Either way, that relationship is dead and gone and both Brad and Angelina are on the market again. Angelina will probably be too busy caring for their six children to date (as she is asking for custody and for Brad to have visitation), but I very much expect Brad to step out with a 25-year-old model/actress at any moment now. “But Brad Pitt is 52 years old, 25 is way too young,” you say. Let me remind you, men are scum, and Brad Pitt is extra scummy for cheating on Jennifer Aniston. It’s definitely not out of the realm of possibility for Brad Pitt to date someone half his age. Fair warning: some of these women are married or in relationships currently, but that’s just a silly little inconvenience to Brad Pitt. Here are my picks.
1. Emily Ratajkowski
Just look at her. Even I would date her. I bet Brad is calling his publicist for her number right this second.
2. Martha Hunt
Member of Taylor Swift’s squad, Victoria’s Secret model, and perfect stepmom material.
3. Lily Aldridge
Yes, I know she’s married, but Brad Pitt obviously doesn’t respect the sanctity of marriage, so I’m including it as a possibility.
4. Vanessa Hudgens
Brad would find the whole hippie, free-spirited thing really endearing… for about six months. It’s called a rebound for a reason.
5. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley
She’s jaw-droppingly gorgeous — just what Brad needs after a painful divorce.
6. Margot Robbie
She’s like the 2016 version of Jennifer Aniston.
7. Jennifer Lawrence
J-Law is the ultimate cool girl and can make anyone laugh, and after that divorce settlement, Brad’s going to need that.
8. Jasmine Tookes
She’s a stunning Victoria’s Secret model. That’s all you (and Brad) really need to know.
9. Emilia Clarke
I can see Brad dating her just to find out what happens next on Game Of Thrones. This relationship would last two months max.
10. Shay Mitchell
She just looks like she would be down to date an older man.
11. Taylor Swift
I don’t think this will actually happen, but imagine if it did. The internet would never recover. .